Built on the Rock

…hey ho Voxtropolians!

I thought I owed you at least a short explanation for my sudden dropping off of Vox and M.  I’m still alive….but some days, barely.

You see…..knowing that I am wired as an INTJ, I never gave any thought to the huge amounts of energy or the thousands-of-ideas that my mind generates on a daily basis.  It’s just ‘me’ to be on fast forward.

Never gave it any thought that is until everything was not status Quo.

I tanked.

I bit the dust.

I burned out.

Well, not me exactly.  Just some important little innards called my adrenal glands.  See…they are the innards that handle Adrenalin.  (Now I know why I’m a Type ‘A”!)  As long as your adrenal glands handle adrenalin ok, everything chugs along as usual.  When they reach the end of their capacity however, that adrenalin spills over onto your thyroid and ovaries…ahem.  Let’s just say that having excess hormones coursing through that part of your womanly parts starts to mess things up a bit.

That was in July.

So, after spending a small fortune on EPT’s, I finally saw a naturopath who had an explanation for why I was tired, nauseous and dizzy for 18 hours of the day and a raging lunatic for the other 6.

After some supplementation I can feel things returning to normal.

Not that I’m sure what normal is though….I have also discovered that I can ‘feel’ when I turn on my adrenalin switch.  I can now identify when I start to ‘dose myself’ with a shot of this self-replicating-self-supplying drug.  My next journey is learning how to switch that off as soon as I recognize it and learn new ways to operate.

Any of our INTJ’s out there who operate slowly???  Who can give me some productivity tips on how to handle the gazillions of ideas that I can’t personally react to anymore?

I need to learn slowness.

Sorry to those of you who think I’ve dropped off the face of the earth.  I’ve not been here nor on M for awhile.  Just doing some sorting out.

You can catch something of this ‘repurposing’ over here:  www.repurposed.wordpress.com  Just don’t expect anything mind-blowing or earth-shattering.

Oswald Chambers that is.

The guy’s writing is definitely annointed in a powerful way.  Many days his old, dusty writings are food for my soul.

Today’s devotional (Oct 11 found here:  http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php ) struck me with an aha moment.

Those of you who have followed my stuff know of the common “what next” theme; the “emptying-out” places I’ve been.  Lately though I’ve found myself in a place of silence.  A good kind of quiet.  The kind of quiet that comes directly out of my own places.

Silence Good.  God is there.

I haven’t been able to write b/c I don’t know how to.
All I know is I can see God weaving some profound changes into his people.
These changes are common threads in many different circles.
These are not “good-thoughts”, or “should-do’s”
These are fundamental, from-your-gut, part of your DNA sorts of revolutions.
I guess I’m quiet b/c I haven’t quite figured out what my role in that is.
I am a pray-er.
I am a leader.
I am a friend.
I am a listener.
I am a responder.
What, oh Lord, is next?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE WIERD CHARACTERS ARE THAT ARE SHOWING UP…DO YOUR BEST TO IGNORE THEM…found here:  http://stf.heavenlytrain.com/?p=1254

As the busy Christian cycled down the hill to town to buy fresh strawberries, her hair was flying and she had a huge grin on her face not only because God had been doing a great thing in her but well- let’s face it- she hadn’t been on her bicycle for ages and just freely whizzing along was a real joy!

As she overtook a lady walking along she heard a muffled cry of pain.

“I ought to stop�

“Your Finnish isn’t that great� said the voice in her head. “She won’t like you talking to her.�

“I ought to stop� said the other voice, the one from her heart, but she kept pedalling, albeit it a tad more slowly.

“Remember the Samaritan man I told you about!� boomed a voice from who knows where!

Ouch!

She stopped. Dismounted. And heart pounding, not from the exertion of cycling, pushing her bicycle she slowly walked back up the hill towards the lady .

“Are you ok?� (Stupid question! Of course she wasn’t ok; tears were streaming down her blotched face and she looked frighteningly angry!)

Sad Woman looked surprised that someone would stop and ask her. But then Sad Woman’s story came pouring out as fast as the tears flowed.

Busy Christian just listened (what else could she do?) and occasionally said something inane like “that’s too bad“, “I think that must hurt so much here� (pointing to her own heart, which by now was aching with Sad Woman’s pain)

“This is going to take a long time� said that voice in her head again

“You’ve got all the time in the world� said the other voice.

So she stayed.

She listened more, making even more inane comments “I’m so sorry and that’s so sad!� while her brain was busy, active, trying to analyse the situation and what she should do.

“you could pray� said the other voice

Good idea! So she prayed silently from the heart, mostly that she’d have the wisdom of what to do; and if truth be told, she also prayed how to get herself out of the situation!

As the sad story unfolded more Sad Woman suddenly used the name of God in vain and in anger. Simultaneously the booming voice rang out again!

“I meant, you could pray for her!�

oh!

So Busy Christian took a very deep breath and stepped even further out of her safe cave and asked Sad Woman if she could pray for her.

No answer. Then a slight nod.

Busy Christian did just that. She blessed Sad Woman and asked Jesus to come in mend her broken heart and heal what needed to be healed.

And she waited.

The crying stopped.

Sad woman began to ask questions about Busy Christian and why she was in Finland and why she would stop to help a total stranger. Busy Christian hesitantly told a little of her story.

…

A while later Busy Christian got back on her bike, no longer grinning but in shock and amazed that God could use little old her to bring His Kingdom closer to the town in which she lives.

There were still plenty of strawberries in the market when she finally got there. And they tasted so sweet!

I’m pretty open. Have usually been that way. That means I live life out loud….not really hiding behind any covert agendas or platforms.

This week, however, I sensed a collision of my worlds.

I opened up a Facebook account.

(gasp!) You know what that does. It brings in people from all kinds of timelines in my life.

There is my school-days timeline….
My pre-being-married timeline…
My building a career timeline….
My God-lit-God-inspired timeline…

These are now all merging into one. People who knew different parts of me are suddenly able to peek into worlds they maybe never knew about. That means that many people who were with me when I wasn’t an “out-of-control-disciple” are now colliding with those who are on my journey with me. That means those on my current journey may learn things that they didn’t know.

It made me really think about how I’m presenting myself on Facebook. I am purposefully steering it away from any holy-roller-God-and-Jesus talk, yet purposefully allowing it to showcase some of the changes in me. That is inspiring some off-line and private conversations about those changes.

So, can Facebook be an effective shall-we-call-it Evangelism tool? Is this the kind of space where we allow the open and raw moments of our journey to be exposed? To allow God to use it without thinking that the words have to come from ourselves?

Just thoughts really…

Your chance to be a part of saving the universe

Check it Out

here’s a little tidbit I wrote up based on Psalm 35. It is for a little friend of mine who has some control issues. We believe Jesus is bigger.

(Psalm 35:1-4, 22-23. )
God, I want your help in being a better listener to my parents. When the devil wants to lie to me, will you punch him in the nose? Pick up whatever weapon you can find and throw it at him - he is nasty. He tells me lies that I don’t want to believe anymore. Make the devil look silly when he tries to lie to me. Put things like banana peels in front of him, so when he tries to get to me to lie in my ear, he will fall before he gets to me. Satan sets all kinds of traps, telling me that I don’t have to listen to my parents, but I know better, I know that in the Bible you tell me to obey my parents. I am a Christian and I want to do what the Bible says. If Satan comes around again telling me those things, will you set a trap for him? I know you can catch him because it says so in the Bible. Just make him look silly for even trying to get me. I know he can’t get me because you are my God. Thank you for helping me at being respectful and listening to my parents.

I liked this so much, I’m hanging it here:

Magna Carta of Trust by an Out-of-Control Disciple
from Leonard Sweets Soul Cafe (March 1996 Vol. 2, No. 1)

I am part of the Church of the Out-of-Control. I once was a control junkie, but now am an Out-of-Control Disciple. I’ve given up my control to God. I trust and obey the Spirit. I’ve jumped off the fence, I’ve stepped over the line, I’ve pulled out all the stops, I’m holding nothing back. There’s no turning back, looking around, slowing down, backing away, letting up, or shutting up. It’s life Against the Odds, Outside the Box, Over the Wall, the game of life played Without Goal Lines other than “Thy Will Be Done”

I’m done lapdogging for the topdogs, the wonderdogs, the overdogs, or even the underdogs. I’m done playing According to the Rules, whether its Roberts Rules of Order or Miss Manners Rules of Etiquette or Martha Stewarts Rules of Living or Louis Farrakhans Rules of Americas Least Wanted or Merril Lynchs Money-minding/Bottom-lining/Ladder-climbing Rules of Americas Most Wanted.

I am not here to please the dominant culture or to serve any all-show/no-go bureaucracies. I live to please my Lord and Savior. My spiritual taste-buds have graduated from fizz and froth to Fire and Ice. Sometimes I’m called to sharpen the cutting edge, and sometimes to blunt the cutting edge. Don’t give me that old-time religion. Don’t give me that new-time religion. Give me that all-time religion that’s as hard as rock and as soft as snow.

I’ve stopped trying to make life work, and started trying to make life sing. I’m finished with second-hand sensations, third-rate dreams, low-risk high-rise trades and goose-stepping, flag-waving crusades. I no longer live by and for anything but everything God-breathed, Christ-centered, and Spirit-driven.

I can’t be bought by any personalities or perks, positions or prizes. I won’t give up, though I will give in to openness of mind, humbleness of heart, and generosity of spirit. When short-handed and hard-pressed, I will never again hang in there. I will stand in there, I will run in there, I will pray in there, I will sacrifice in there, I will endure in there - in fact I will do everything in there but hang. My face is upward, my feet are forward, my eyes are focused, my way is cloudy, my knees are worn, my seat uncreased, my heart burdened, my spirit light, my road narrow, my mission wide.

I won’t be seduced by popularity, traduced by criticism, by hypocrisy, or trivialized by mediocrity. I am organized religions best friend, and worst nightmare. I won’t back down, slow down, shut down, or let down until I’m preached out, teached out, healed out or hauled out of Gods mission in the world entrusted to members of the Church of the Out-of-Control to unbind the confined, whether they’re the downtrodden or the upscale, the overlooked or the underrepresented.

My fundamental identity is as a disciple of Jesus but even more, as a disciple of Jesus who lives in Christ, who doesn’t walk through history simply “in his steps” but seeks to travel more deeply IN HIS SPIRIT.

Until he comes again or calls me home, you can find me filling not killing time so that one day he will pick me out in the lineup of the ages as one of his own. And then it will be worth it all to hear these words, the most precious words I can ever hear:

“Well done, thou good and faithful Out-of-Control Disciple.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJFlAir0AV8
[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/QJFlAir0AV8″ width=”425″ height=”350″ wmode=”transparent” /]
Is this guy a freak, or does he GET IT?

ps…woooo hoooo!!!!! thanks Alex!